What 'Really' Happened
by The Pixie On Speed
Summary: Allright, there arn't many words to describe this story. I have challened the limits by making a *gasp* frieza/goku fic. Don't worry, it's rated for swearing. Funimation bashing.


**disclaimer** Blah blah blah, I don't own Dragonball Z, or the maccerina. I also don't care how the maccerina is spelled either. If this is offensive to anyone, I'm sorry, this is strictly for laughs. Unless you want a button and a piece of lint, don't sue me.  
  
I will be speaking in cursives. Also thoughts are in cursives. But I think everyone knows that. ^_^ enjoy.  
  
  
  
There are some who believe everything they watch on TV and there are some who don't. And I for one don't believe everything I see, I think there is obvious information we are missing when we watch episodes of Dragon Ball Z. "What?" you say? Well now that you ask I shall tell you. Not only is there the changes in script, pictures, fight scenes, punch lines, obscene senses and language there is the most interesting relationship between the dumbest characters, cut like the many shreds of my heart. Goku cheated on Chichi! (Gasp!) But who could be his love interest? Yumcha? No stupider…  
  
(Dramatic music : bum ba ba ba ba…) Frieza. Yup, that's it, Frieza. Its true I tells ya! All true! Funamation excluded this very important part of those Namec episodes. Want proof? How about this? Frieza says " Whatever turns you on, big boy" and Goku smiles! That's because they are secretly in love and no one can know, not even the noseless wonder! The battle between them was only a fake, a diversion… well it was supposed to be, but Frieza is so stupid he/she cut his/her self in half. A tragic ending for such a great romance! This starts my revision of the fight (and them some) between Goku and Frieza!  
  
Mu ah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!  
  
**Pulls down pants to moon audience but finds a strategically place tree in front of her ass.** (funimation correction for "ass." Replace "ass" with "hiney") GAK! Funimation has struck again! No! I'll get you! **Chases after Funamation with pitchfork!** "Die Bitch, Die!" (Funimation correction for "Bitch" Replace "Bitch" with "Female, dog") **sweatdrop**  
  
Well, it was an ordinary day. He had been traveling on a space pod for about um.. weeks? Months? Who cares. Plus he had beaten up the gang of the Ginyu force. Those pansey ass gays of many dance-like positions. But this was normal for a half wit, peanut brain Sayia-jin named Goku. But never would he expect he would have to fight the most evilest, ugliest, scariest, strongest force in the entire universe. This very thought would make any ordinary human pee his pants, but Goku wasn't an ordinary Human, he was a Sayia-jin. He awaited Frieza presence, his knees shaking the whole time. Then, in the distance, a whooshing sound was heard… faint at first, then stronger. A being dropped before Goku's eyes, the most beautiful creature he had ever seen. Goku started to feel all woozy.  
  
"Boy, I haven't seen something more beautiful since this morning when I say my refection in the toaster" (Goku didn't own a real mirror, so he used his toaster to apply his make-up.) Goku thought aloud, which for some reason he always does and the rest of the characters mysteriously don't hear him.  
  
Frieza looked at Goku and his/her mouth fell open. "What a vision of beauty," The creature thought. "But no one can know I like him. That would just totally trash my reputation! I know, I'll fight him and when I have the chance, I'll tell him how I feel and maybe he'll ask me out" Continued Frieza totally giving away the whole plot which normally happens when evil bad guys think to themselves. Too hard, mostly.  
  
Instantly the two eccentric fighters began to um… fight, I mean cuz that's what they do.  
  
Frieza powered up and gave Goku a speech about how strong he/she is to impress him, unfortunately it didn't… but he/she tried anyway. Goku was too dumb to see that Frieza was coming on to him. But he couldn't help it, he was just recovering from a hang over he self inflicted during the voyage to Namek.  
  
Frieza Formed and energy ball and was about to release when something happened. The narrator started to speak! Oh damn, that means today's episode is over.  
  
Will Frieza gain the love of Goku? Will Goku gain the love of Frieza? Stay tuned for the next episode of Dragonball Z… Next time on Dragonball Z, Frieza and Goku battle it out, but we soon find this is only a fake, a fraud, a phony, a bogus, a staged… umm.. I ran out of synonyms. Oh well, some one confesses their love to some one. But who can it be? Stay tuned for the next episode of dragon ball Z. (crappy Funimation music:)  
  
Hello and welcome to dragon ball z! Normally I don't narrate in the beginning but this is a special episode today! **talks all stupid like he's talking to his pet dog or something** yes it is, yes it is!  
  
-Okay, Here's the deal, this is all the Frieza episodes all squished a few okay.. I gave the narrator a sedative, he got a hernia from talking like that all the time. So, I'm your narrator and stuff. Blah blah blah, here's dragon ball z, but first some annoying commercials  
  
Are you tiered of being ignored? Do your neighbors cease to meet your demands. Can your grandma hear you? Well, I have the item for you. This Megaphone. Only $99.99 and if you call now I'll throw in this snazzy fog horn! Free! Just call 1 800 who cares. That's it 1 800 who cares and these worthless pieces of crap can be yours for a ridiculous prices of $99.99.  
  
"Well Goku, it's time to face your demise! Are you ready?" Frieza fake snarled.  
  
"Duhh…. Maybe.," Said Goku stupidly. He scratched his head… "Line!"  
  
"Ughhh, goku bay-bee! Ya gotta learn your lines if your gonna star In my show if ya know what I mean," Said the Director, "Now, your line is 'Yes Frieza, come and get me.' Okay dumbass?"  
  
"Uhh yeah, Come and get me," Repeated Goku in his most phony hero voice he could muster.  
  
Instantly the two began to fight. Punch after punch after kick. The audience wanting too see more explosions but growing angry of all this repetitive nonsense… Finaly, Frieza caught Goku in some sort of hold. Time stood still.. a Namecian tumble weed floated by… (insert western showdown music here)  
  
Goku threw off the beast with one effortless throw, and Frieza landed on the ground.  
  
"Draw yer guns varmint," Goku said all western like.  
  
"Yeah, what ever you say ya yeller bellied monkey," Hissed Frieza. The creature raised it self from the ground.  
  
Goku pointed his finger at Frieza like it was a gun, or something. "Kabam" Goku imitated a gun sound as he fired a small, but painful energy blast at the creature. And it hit right on target.  
  
"Egad, you shot me! You shot me in the leg!" Cried the she-male creature, "may this be the end for me?" dramatic pause **sings: It's the end of the world as we know it, and I feel fine**  
  
"No it's not Frieza, I see you have seen the error of your ways. You may go now, run little fella.." Goku said like he always does, that retard, and tried to shoo Frieza away.  
  
"I will not be 'shooed' so easily, you sexy hunk of man!" Frieza confessed, "Opps, hee hee. Did I say that out loud?"  
  
Goku blushed, "Awww, well you ain't so ugly yer self." He giggled.  
  
Frieza got scared. After that public display of emotion, he/she was sure to be the laughing stock of the universe, not to mention his planet he-she! Frieza got carried away and created a super-duper distructo disk of pain and agony, then another. Both disks were flying about Goku in a fashion directed by Frieza's hands.  
  
"Die! Muahh haa haa haa," Frieza mischievously laughed. A disk flew by Goku's head, cutting off some of his precious hair!  
  
"My hair!" He cried! "My precious hair! I just washed it with herbal essences, it was all shiny and good smelling! I rinsed and repeated 8 times! Now it was all in vain! Do you know how long it will take me to grow back that hair!" He sobbed some more. There was silence, then Goku whined as he patted his new haircut, "I feel so unwhole. But I will save on shampoo and conditioner" He was out raged. He began to run around like crazy. This bizarre scene was watched by several Nemakians who had nothing better to do with their time.  
  
"Wow, look at that groovy new dance!" exclaimed an amazed Namekian, "I name it the… uhhh.. Maccerina."  
  
And that's how the maccerina was invented. That's stupid dance that sweeped the nation was invented by the nations most stupid person. That's the end of today's episode. I gotta go, the narrator is waking up!  
  
**looks shocked** Oh wait ,I for got to tell you the name of the next episode, oh hell, screw it.  
  
Guess what, its time for today's episode of Dragonaball Z! To day some stuff will happen I'm not to sure what kind of stuff, but stuff none the less. I'm not guaranteeing this crap will make sense, but I'll try. I'm sorry, the original narrator died of O.D. It turns out echinacea is poisonous if taken in large amounts. Oh well, on with the episode, I mean a word from our sponcer.  
  
It was a wonderful day in Tellitubby land and everyone was playing nice. All was nice clean fun in it's own ''special'' way. We are all ''special''. Especially Tinkiwinki…. UNTIL THESE NEW DRAGONABALL Z ACTION FIGURES FROM BANDI CAME! **plays DBZ music** These cool guys smash! CRASH! AND DESTROY!!! echoes of 'destroy' are heard WITH MEGA KICK ACTION! **toy Goku cheezily kicks Tinkiwinki in the ass, and it flys 2 inches** AND MEGA KARATE CHOP ACTION!! **Tinkiwinki gets karate chopped by Big Bubba Trunks (ref. Temple O' Trunks) and the sad little Tellitubby flies in the direction of which it came** Time for telly bye bye, time for telly bye bye.  
  
Remember! Ask your mom and dad to BUY BUY buy!! Where have all the Tellitubbies gone?  
  
The Dancing Goku was doing was making it hard for Frieza to hit Goku, not like she/he wanted to anyway. This was just for show. But It had be a good show of course. After noticing two blazing disks were following him again, Goku stopped 'dancing'. "Maybe he/she hates me!" Goku thought. "I mean why would he/she be throwing dangerous things around me? I know, I'll impress Frieza by doing a nifty dance for him/her!"  
  
Goku's ingenious plan was carried out, and soon he was dancing bizzarly infront of his admirer.  
  
"Wow, you sure are a striking dancer, Goku." said an astonished Frieza. Frieza was so amazed he/she didn't look where his/her disks were going, and his/her disks came flying towards him/her. The disks sliced Frieza in half with a sickening sound like a fork, going through Jell-o that's been left in my locker for 2 months.  
  
"Nooooo!" cried Goku, "My love. Alas, I sent all my friends to earth, and I am the only one left, and I cant carry you before this planet explodes. I must leave you hear to die an even more agonizing fate then slicing yourself in half. Perhaps you will be rebuilt and come to see me sometime, like when future Trunks comes. Good bye my Darling!"  
  
"Come back here bitch and pick me up! Don't leave me!" Pleaded Frieza, but Goku had already turned on his walkman. Never were the lovers to meet again. Or will they? Like when future Trunks comes? Will he have been moved on by then? No one knows.  
  
"I can always run away with Vegeta, or Tien," Goku thought. He had allready forgoted his greatest love.  
  
And that's the end of our sad and twisted story. I told ya there would be some material in here! If ya like this story, I have more coming. If ya didn't, then too bad, cuz I don't care, I'm writing more anyway. Those of you who loved the narrator, you can rest easy. He's not dead, he was just sleeping But I'm still working on that. That just about wraps up this story. Have a super fantastic day and remember; the macceraina is evil, how ever you spell it. 


End file.
